ehhhh i bitch a lot. ok well im probly moving. But how is everyone esle. i know i could just go to ure xanga and find out. But its more fun to ask. and i think its polite or some shit. iono. yea *smiles*. blegtagabat

Yea so we're not moving to Kent. We're moving somewhere else. IOno where. House looks good. I appreciate all the stuff u guys keep saying. Espescially u binaca. Yea. Well, here's my last ditch effort.

*Sigh*. Well. You bought a house. You just bought a house. Hmmmmm. From a stand point I really probably should be grateful and happy, but I’m not. I’m not because I don’t want to leave. Why would I want to leave. Why would I want to leave the place I’ve become accustomed to. Why would I want to leave the school and class I have spent the last 4 years pouring all of my heart, soul, body, sweat, tears, love, and life to. The place I’ve dedicated myself to. Why in the world would I want to leave the people that were there for me. The people that were there for me a lot more than you, or kuya, or mom, or grandpa, or kuya, or anybody else. The people that never judged me but always encouraged. The people that never condescended or looked down upon me. Why would I want to leave the place that is most convenient in my life. If you honestly must have to have to have to move to another town in another city where I can not possibly go to Hazen High school, *sigh* then so be it. Wouldn’t you. Did u want to leave the philipines to go to mexico where u spent years rebuilding a life. Being a migrant farmer when in the Philipines you had a much more luxurious life? Is that what u wanted. To throw all the good crap you had to farm for someone. Did u want that? Well I don’t want to leave the place that I have grown from a child to teenager in. Leave the people I love. Leave what I have worked as hard as anything to create. This is me dad. All those times that I went to school that early in the morning. This is what I have dedicated myself to. I don’t care about house resale value or n e of that crap. This is what I’ve spent countless days sleeping for less that 5 hours a night for. This is why I walked to school at 5-6 in the morning for. This is why I sometimes slaved myself sometimes for 11-12 hours a day at school making sure everything is perfect. How it should be. This is what I have invested myself into for the last four years. I understand that I am asking a lot of you.  I appreciate that you give me all of this, a bigger house, but I don’t care for a bigger house. I care for the things I have here, the people the school, the places. This is my heart. Why cant we just move to that place over the hill, the new houses. I don’t mean to make you feel bad by telling you n e of this, I mean for you to sympathize to the point where you can not move me from the place I love. I think you already know, and I don’t mean this an assholish way but I just don’t think I would take a new school very well. I don’t think I would transfer very well. I love Hazen. I love Renton. I love the people here. This is my heart. This is where I feel I belong, and you’re going to tear me away from my heart, from the place I feel I belong. Father, I don’t usually talk to you because I never really felt like you would understand. But here I honestly hope you can understand, what you’re doing to me. I hope you can help and sympathize with me because if u can’t I don’t know what I’ll do.  I don’t think I will be able to concentrate on school studies, work for the school, or be active in sports. This is where I feel is best for me. If you leave, then I will follow. But understand what you are doing to me. Not that I am just a child holding on to little childhood friends. I understand that there will be no friends. But I also understand that it is impossible to have the same bonds will ever be made or enough time for me to mature these bonds in a time I will need to have real friends to there for me. I also understand that I will make new friends, but this is where I want to be dad. This is the life I want to lead. Not one in Kent. I’m sorry if there is nothing you can do, but I beg that you find some way to do this for me. To let me go to Hazen. Find a house more convenient or something. Please dad……… Please  

EDIT-God….*sigh* its so hard to see you happy. To see you happy and know that I can’t be happy with you. Dad, I know you love this house. I love the house too. If I wasn’t so determined to be here I would love to be in that great house. But you don’t lose anything. I lose everything. Dad *sigh* I really really really love the house. I really do. It looks great…..for both of us…. And the new “family”…. But its not what I want. I want to stay here. Dad, this is my last ditch effort. I know you know this all comes from the heart. It would be so hard to say this to your face. I know you love this house. It breaks my heart to write this. I love you dad, and I love the house. Ehhhh im just being selfish, huh? Well, that’s me isn’t it. The selfish baby of the family. Maybe. But, this is it dad. I don’t want a new city to situate myself again. You know how long it took for me to situate myself here in Renton. A year. Well dad, I don’t want to leave. I don’t want to go invest myself somewhere else. If you think this isn’t worth it, then so be it. But I honestly don’t think I will like this new place. Not the house, the environment. Not to be a brat, but I don’t want to do work for another school, make friends with new people. I do want to leave…. Just in 3 years. God, the house is beautiful. But can’t we get a house over the hill. The new houses. I love Hazen. I love my friends. But I also love you. If you need this, then I guess so. Is there no way u can delay this for 3 years? I wish you could feel what I feel. It’s horrible. I wish so much that I could just be happy with you, I really do. This house…. Sounds so great. The new life sounds great too. I just…. Already have my life planned. It didn’t involve going somewhere else. I don’t know dad. *sigh*. I love you dad. I’m sorry I cant be happy with you. I wish I could but I cant. I wish you could  be happy with me, but I’m not sure u can do that. So it seems as if we have a dilemma, huh? Ok dad… I don’t know what to do. I guess I trust you and if this is really what you want to do, then ok. But this is what I really want to do… Be a Hazen varsity wrestler all 4 years, Be a Hazen Varsity Football Player for 2 years, pass 3 amendments with my friends to the Hazen constitution, Start a Hazen Chess Club, Go to state as a Hazen wrestler, Start a Hazen debate team, Start a Hazen Ultimate Frisbee Club, showcase the best Hazen senior project Hazen has ever seen, Run for Boy’s Club president with my friend Colin, I’m already running for secretary of MSA,  date Chelsii some more,  I’m already in DECA for next year which will look good on a transcript, make Hazen a more fun place, start activities like the Halo tournament,     There’s also really big houses in Newcastle too.

Well aint it a bitch, im back. hello. uhhh yea. so fuck. i was gona keep it a secret, but im all bummed. my dad said im moving....to kent....and going to kent meridian. doesnt that suck. When he told me that, n e other day i woulda got pissed but not that day, it just broke me. It broke my heart, it broke my soul. I felt like i was dead. After that i thought wut a bunch of bs i'm not dieng ill find new kids. But then i thought about it. I am dead once i move. maybe im overexaggerating but o well. it is death if u think about it. i mean ure heart dont stop or no shit but its death. its death to ure life as u kno it. Everything uve built. Your friendships, enemies, rivalries, allies, loves, hates. iono theres more i just cant think. its like someone is stripping away ure life. What u have created all by ureself someone else just takes it away. Someone rips away all those dreams with all those people and friends and replaces it with a half ass pity and a suck it up. Fuck that shit. N i kno jesus christ had it a million times worse than me but fuck him. He's dead now. I'm not. i dont wanna die. this is my call. id rather get crucified then fucking move. what bullshit. argh. dono wut to do. i hate how out of nowhere, "by the way in 3 months we're moving to a new house." what bullshit! fuck him. He just buys a new house. i wouldnt have cared had i just been going to the same high skewl kuz it doesnt matter. But he decides to totally alienate me. What a piece of shit. I'll never do this to our children. Fuck him. Fucking damnit. So angry. Kant really think of ne thing to say. This is just crap. I wanna tell him to fuck off and im staying but then i die. like really die. I dont wanna really die. Fuck. wow. what a dilemma. either way im fucked huh. i can stay and live on the streets or bum off of friends(which i wont bum kuz too much pride so actually just live on the streets) or i can leave that which i have come to love. Iono if u kno babe but im really a sentimental person. thats y room s always so messy, kuz i dont throw shit away. im the person hoo says, "we might need that some day" or "Susie Q gave that to me in the second grade, i cant throw it away." But this is the ultimate extreme. Throwing 4 years of my life. 4 years ive invested my life into these friends, these relationships. ive finally found stability and hapiness and he says, "well fuck im getting married so were moving to kent. U kant see ure friends n e more." Wut shit! arghness. i cant think strate. Wow all i really want is chelsii. This is where all my dreams are. This is where my life is. i kno i sound like a fucking pansy but id rather be a pansy here, then a bitch over there. kuz i am a bitch, but most people at hazen either except or dont. Its as easy as that. n im ok with that. But having to form the same bonds with people from another skewl. Fuck i just dont wanna leave babe. i dont. i jus wanna stay here. be with ya forever. but....... ehhh im fucked either way. this is bullshit. i hate thte real world. i wish i could live in the sims. U dun have to move there. N wenever i need money all i have to do is type in a cheat. i kno it proly isnt that significant to most yall out there. But it is to me. That i have to give up wut ive invested 4 years into and planned on investing 3 more is just being stripped away. well if i do have to move im just not going to do ne  work. i wont do n e  work n i wont eat. so either he'll kill me or ill die of anorexia(however u spell that shit). o well. lifes a bitch. i wish i was white. Being white is so much more fun. Ure parents rent aloud in ure room. they do ure dishes for u. they listen to u. Its ok if u got less than an A++++. i wish i didnt have to leave. hell mayb i wont. mayb my dad is drunk n doesnt kno wut hes bin sayin for the last week. or maybe i do have to leave. either way. c ya l8er :)

~EdIt~

wow look at all u cool people that subscribed to me. i wish i knew hoo all these people were. i feel special. Well, looks ive got friends to make. O wait, yuck aint this shit a bitch. moving n  wut not. o well.